Just A Girl In Flower Pants

I’ve lived in my current apartment for three years, and for three years, I’ve missed not being able to have an outdoor space. Yes, I had a deck and everything, but there was zero privacy and sorry, not sorry, for not wanting my neighbors to stare at me while I drown my day away with wine. I don’t have time for judgey mcjudgey pants over there.

It also got a little bit awkward when the new neighbors that moved in also work with me. Nothing says awesome more than the HR lady drinking every night on her patio. Yeah.

Thank goodness for Pinterest, and this seemingly easy PVC piping project:


Easy to follow steps? Privacy? Yes. I am in.

I started by not telling my Dad what I was planning on doing because he would have been terrified. He won’t even let me borrow an electric screwdriver, let alone let me to build something myself. However, I figured that at the ripe age of 29, it was about time for me to figure out how to go to Home Depot by myself. Armed with nothing except for my Pinterest board and flower pants, I had a feeling this was going to be amazing.

The first mistake might have been the flower pants. The really nice lady in the window department paged the plumbing guy and informed him that he couldn’t miss me because of my really cute flower pants. I’m sure you can imagine how happy this very serious plumbing guy was to walk out and find me, the girl with no idea what she’s doing, standing in his department. We were basically soulmates.

The flower pants that made their debut at Home Depot

He started by asking me what the heck I was going to do with the large quantity of PVC piping I was requesting. I gladly showed him the picture. He rolled his eyes and started asking me if I had taken into account for the hinges. Nope. I had not. I told him I trusted his judgement. I’m guessing this wasn’t the greatest answer since he mumbled something as he walked away to cut my piping.

He came back with an awesome cart. You know the one with the giant wheel in the middle and the smaller ones on either side. Basically it’s the see-saw of the PVC world. He also asked me how I planned to cut the piping. The ‘you have to cut it again’ look on my face was enough for him to suggest a hacksaw.  And just like that, I now was the proud owner of $6.99 hacksaw.

When I moved on to the paint department, I felt like I was getting this whole Home Depot thing down.

Well, my see-saw cart and assorted sizes of PVC piping had other plans. I almost took out a guy at the knees and I was spilling things all over the place. I kept apologizing and trying to pretend that I didn’t exist. One guy even asked if this was my first trip to Home Depot. Yes. Thanks, buddy.

After I spent 15 minutes debating on why I wanted regular paint instead of spray paint for the piping, I was dying to get out of that place. I thought I was doing great at the balancing thing until I stopped a little too quickly at the registers and all of my piping went rolling off the cart and onto the floor. The guy at the check out said, “You should have gotten the cart extender.” I looked at him in pure desperation and said, “There’s a cart extender? Why didn’t he give me one?”

Crickets followed because apparently that was a joke I just did not understand.

Oh, and did you know that when you leave Home Depot that you end up on the opposite side of where you came in? I did not, but I do now. I started giggling like a crazy person when I realized I was going to have to get this see-saw cart across the entire parking lot. Awesome.

It’s hard to pick my favorite part of that journey, mostly because there was a lot of pausing to pick up the piping from the parking lot, but if I had to pick a moment, it would be when I lost all of the piping in front of and underneath a cop car. He literally watched me pick it up while half covering his mouth laughing… Yeah, I know it’s hilarious dude. Why not help a lady out though next time?!?

I have never been so excited to get back to my car in my life.

I was really wishing I had asked my Dad to help me at this point. Was it too late to return everything? Yes. Yes, it was. So, I packed everything into the trunk with Camden and off we went!


Once I got home the hardest part wasn’t putting all the pieces together, it was using the hacksaw. PVC piping is round and doesn’t like to stay in one place. It’s also a lot thicker than I thought, which made using my little hacksaw a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. My parents popped by in the middle all of this and my Dad was shocked that I managed to put it together, but also very impressed.

I told them they could come over for the first dinner on the patio once I was closer to being done. I put up faux ivy around the outside of the patio, hung curtains from the piping, threw down a pretty indoor/outdoor rug, bought a grill (electric), started growing some herbs and vegetables, and even got some fairy lights for mood lighting. Camden and I celebrated success with some Milk and Honey and rosé.

It might not look just like the picture, but it’s mine. I will also be much more prepared the next time I have to visit Home Depot. If this is adulting, then I love being an adult.

As for my Dad, he loves our dinner nights on the patio that he didn’t have to help me build…


xx EJB


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.